1.10.17

“Peace comes from within.  Do not seek it without.”
― Buddha


Today, I woke up in a mood that could only be defined as anxious. The world felt heavy on my horizontal body, and the weight on unwanted emotions weighed down on my heart. I wanted to revert to my usual habit of cuddling deep within the comforts of the mountain of blankets on top of me, but I remembered that this year is a new year. This year is my year of acceptance, forgiveness, and openness. So, today, I had to accept the mood of my morning, forgive myself for thinking the worst, and remain open to the idea that the rest of the day was going to go well.

It also helped that my boyfriend woke me up with cuteness and kisses.

After a bit of dilly-dallying and wasting the precious time I have, my boyfriend suggested yoga. It is one of my goals for this year and I had yet to actually indulge in advancing in it. In fact, I hadn’t even started yet. So, I pushed myself to start, and, let me just tell you, I had to push myself. The idea of moving my body and exerting energy when I felt like complete shit was just entirely off-putting. But I pushed myself forward and I am so thankful that I did.

My body ached as I pushed it just a little past its limits. I forced myself to stay focused on the task and aware of my body. While some positions made me wish it was over, the transitions and following poses allowed me to remain thankful that my body was even able to move in such a fashion. Once I was done, my body felt less heavy, less tight, and less weary.

Again, this made me feel nothing but thanks as well as a sense of accomplishment for going through with it.

Now, at just a little past noon, I have explored more of my body, I have meditated to calm my anxiety, and I am typing on a blog that I promised to update daily. Today, the second day of my journey, was a success.

I am worthy of shedding the layer of anxiety and negativity that hinders me. I am worthy of all things positive and healthy. Good things will come this year, I just have to work for it myself instead of expecting it.

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